HOTLINE, Winter, 2009 by Ken McEwen, Retired Local 258 member 
When the notification came that another issue of the Hotline was looming I was on the road somewhere in central Oregon. Now that I have reached sunny Southern California I can attend to my responsibilities. I hope I can get the job done in time to meet the editor’s deadline. As I’ve mentioned before retirement and deadlines don’t mix well, especially when the retiree has attained status as a journeyman procrastinator. The only other time procrastination is jeopardized is when Catherine Dear determines that a particular task must be done immediately. It seems I’ve learned to hear and obey directions from both the Hotline editor and Catherine Dear. Just prior to leaving on our annual journey south I discovered a new feature on my computer. It is called “speech recognition” and is kind of fun to play with. I am manufacturing this column using speech recognition therefore any mistakes or typographical errors are the fault of the computer and not the operator. See, I don’t have to fiddle with the keyboard and find all those little letters, I just have to talk to the computer and it writes down what I say. There is, however, a learning curve for both the computer and me. The computer has to learn to understand my speech patterns and pronunciation and I have to learn to issue commands that the computer can recognize. All in all, dictating to the computer is easier than trying to find all those little letters that seem to change places every time I take my eyes off the keyboard. Anyway, let’s see how this works for this column. I don’t know if I’ve whined about the chores that attend our arrival in California before but if I have perhaps it was long enough ago that you’ve forgotten. See, when we had the big motor home my responsibilities were to back it onto the lot, connect the water, electric, sewer and then find my chair and a beverage. Now we have a park model trailer permanently situated on our lot and the arrival duties Catherine Dear and I share require shoveling, sweeping, vacuuming, washing and dusting both the exterior and interior of the unit. This process takes days instead of minutes. The time to complete is extended even more when I shift into my warm weather mode of operation which is to move slowly, rest often and quit early. There is one positive aspect to the cleaning regimen and that is I get to spend considerable time with a hose in my hand directing a stream of water at the dust and sand that summer has accumulated on the driveway, patio and deck. I find hosing to be therapeutic and it also provides ample time for rumination. Then, of course, the camper needs to be cleaned. I spent the better part of the day removing the road grime collected in British Columbia, Washington, Oregon, Nevada and California. The camper is now fit to take its rightful place among all the shiny vehicles that ply the roads in sunny Southern California. A good part of the aforementioned road grime was collected in British Columbia, Washington and Oregon where we endured rain, snow, sleet and hail. Nevada and a Northern California were considerably drier. Also, we were subjected to very cold temperatures. If you’ll forgive me, at this point I’ll use American measures because that’s where we are. Most nights the temperature plummeted to the mid-twenties in Fahrenheit degrees. The wind also blew at just below gale force. To be comfortable outside one needed to don a sweater, jacket, toque, earmuffs and gloves. Of course, long pants were also necessary. Now that I’m in sunny Southern California shorts a T-shirt are all that’s required in the way of cover-up. I much prefer the shorts and T-shirt mode of dress. A lot of my ruminating while hosing had to do with the upcoming Olympic winter games. In all the news I see there’s still no mention of athleticism or sports. The focus of the Olympics seems to be exclusively on anticipated economic gains for certain segments of our society and the costs to be borne by the remainder. It seems to me that rather than an opportunity for some to make buckets of money the Olympics should be about providing athletes who are finest at their chosen sport a venue to compete for world recognition. It’s probably for the best if I don’t report the entirety of my conclusions on the Olympics reached while hosing and ruminating. Another subject of water induced ruminating has to do with the automotive industry and the instruments installed in cars and trucks. Perhaps it’s a result of my trade and training but I like to know what’s going on in the engine room in real terms. Little hash marks across the face of a dial do not satisfy my need to know the coolant temperature in degrees (I’ll accept either Fahrenheit or Celsius) or the oil pressure in recognizable increments of pounds per square inch or metric equivalent. I have also observed that fuel gauges are not linear. One would assume that a vehicle could travel the same distance on a quarter of a tank of gas regardless of which quarter is being used. I find this not to be so. The top quarter of the tank provides many more miles of driving than the bottom quarter of the tank does. It is obvious that further hosing and ruminating is required to resolve this issue. I wanted to discuss cell ‘phones and twittering as well as the cost of hearing enhancement devices at this time. I also had some thoughts about the use of the term “Up To” in advertising. You know, like when they say, “This product will provide up to 10 hours of operation …” What does that mean? If you only get six hours of operation does that fall in the promised “Up To” ten hours? Anyway, as I have used up the allotted space whining about cleaning I’ll have to defer those discussions until next time. Please continue to work and play safely because even though some cleaning may be required retirement is worth getting to. |
