From The Hotline, Spring, 2009 by Ken McEwen,
retired IBEW Local 258 member Well, okay. I’ve been told that another column for the Hotline is due. In that I have been conditioned to always do what I am told I will attempt to get something together in time for publication. Right now I am sitting with a completely empty mind in front of the keyboard in sunny southern California. Catherine Dear has, at times, alluded that my mind is empty on a fairly regular basis. This season, ruminating has taken kind of a back seat to a plethora of chores and projects that have been deemed necessary by Management. One such project centred on the 10 foot by 10 foot shed on our lot. The shed, as it existed, was made of metal (I called it a tin shed but in actual fact it was aluminum) and was, like me, approaching what could be termed somewhat elderly and weather-beaten. Well, what happened was that last spring, after we had left sunny southern California, some of that weather in the form of great gusts of wind peeled back a corner of the tin (aluminum) roof. A kind neighbour hammered the roof back down and gave it a bit of a patch job. When we arrived on site in October and experienced the first rainfall it was noted that a lot of water entered the shed in proximity to the patch job. To forestall similar occurrences during any future rain events I was dispatched with a bucket of goop to make the shed roof water repellent. That operation was successful and during the next rain event the shed remained dry. I should note here that prior to the application of goop there was only water in the shed when it rained and that we live in a desert where rain doesn’t happen frequently. Notwithstanding the dryness of the shed, ensuing negotiations determined that a new roof was required. Given my conditioning (see first paragraph) material was purchased and a new asphalt shingle roof was applied to the tin (aluminum) shed. There I was, content to rest on my laurels, with a project completed and a newly roofed dry shed. After a few days of resting on the aforementioned laurels (I wonder where that term originated) I heard the three most dreaded words in the English language, “… I’ve been thinking”. The subject matter of the thinking concerned the outside walls of the same 10 foot by 10 foot shed that apparently now looked shabby because of the new roof. At the request of Management, negotiations were re-opened, resulting in the purchase of siding, paint and ancillary hardware. I must say at this point that Management rolled up its sleeves and applied the paint to the newly installed siding. The result is that we no longer have a tin (aluminum) shed but have instead a painted wooden asphalt roofed shed that doesn’t allow the ingress of water during rain events, should they occur. Management is happy, the neighbours are happy and I am back to laurel resting, at least until those three words are heard again. The whole process described above is somewhat reminiscent of the time we put new flooring in our Park Model trailer. The new flooring apparently caused the refrigerator to look shabby. The old microwave oven didn’t match the new refrigerator and then the cupboards looked dingy against the new microwave oven and new refrigerator. Rumination has revealed to me that starting any project is sort of like chucking a rock into a large pond of water. The ensuing ripples expand outward and one can only hope that the edge of the pond is reached with a minimum of consequences. A good thing is happening this weekend. Daylight Savings Time is starting. I like Daylight Savings Time. It has always seemed to me that daylight in the very early morning is a terrible waste. I much prefer to have daylight later in the day when I am, to some extent, alert and awake. Time reserved for sleeping should remain dark. An exception to that, of course, is that it needn’t be dark for afternoon naps. Mind you, I don’t really nap in the afternoon. I just kind of sit in my chair and rest my eyes for an hour or two. Catherine Dear reports that I sleep, with attendant snoring noises, but I’m pretty sure that I just rest my eyes briefly. I am also pretty sure that Sesame (the dog) prefers Daylight Savings Time for her evening strolls. If George Bush did nothing else during his presidency of the United States of America he gave USAmericans, and consequently Canadians, a longer period of darker mornings and lighter evenings. On another issue, I’m not sure whether I discussed women and mumbling with you before. If I have, you need not read any further. I have found that women tend to mumble more and more as I advance in years. Especially Catherine Dear, who’s mumbling seems to get worse with the passage of time. I have done some in depth research into this phenomenon with other retirees. Members of my peer group all report an increase in mumbling among their women acquaintances, particularly spouses. Prior to this exhaustive research I attended, at Catherine Dear’s urging, an ear doctor guy who concluded after some tests that Catherine Dear did not mumble but instead my ears were faulty. I am pleased to relate that, based on my poll of other retirees and despite the ear doctor guy’s opinion, it is confirmed that women mumble. In retrospect, and in fairness, I am constrained to report that some men, including TV announcers, mumble as well. Further research will be conducted. Well, that’s all for this time as I have once again overused the allotted space. Please continue to work and play safely because whether daylight comes early or late, retirement is great. |
